Minimalism

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Dear Nico,

Well, it’s that time again! Our lease finished in Manhattan, so we’re off to see more of the world. We spent the last two weeks selling (nearly) everything we owned so we could travel a bit without worrying about where to store beds or dishes. We’re minimalists and it feels so great to live on so little. You really don’t need too much to live happily.

I started on minimalism when your father and I were living in Las Vegas. One day I decided to wear this one pair of blue jeans I had been carting around everywhere we travelled “just in case” (after only wearing dresses for a long time). I hated the feeling of wearing these silly pants all day so finally your father told me go back to the apartment to change. I laughed and thought to myself that it was silly, but I really did feel more “me” in dresses! So into a dress I went.

Thing is, I had been lugging these jeans around everywhere I went. I realised at this point how ridiculous that had been and my worldview on belongings was forever changed.  Your father and I made a bit of a celebration to accept the new mindset into our lives and (this is silly, are you ready Nico?) we stood on our 12, 13, 17 story high (whatever it was) balcony and threw the jeans off and away with glee. Here’s that transitory moment:

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Directly after that, we emptied all of our belongings on to the bed. We were harsh with what stayed and what didn’t. If we didn’t like it, it went. If we didn’t use it, it went. It was a huge relief to be rid of all this useless stuff.

And so, this night obviously effected me quite a bit because nearly two years later, I’m still extremely enthusiastic about keeping what we need (and only that!). So, as you and I are getting ready to travel, I took this time to do another cleanse. The picture above is everything we own today. 5 dresses for me, 8 shirts/pants for you, toys, toiletries, and electronics. And geez, Nico, it feels so good!

Why keep a pair of jeans you can’t stand wearing anyway?

Love,

Mommy.

P.S. Here is our last picture on the stoop at our home in Manhattan. Good bye NYC!

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Hello world!

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You’re Like a Tornado.

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Hey Nicolas,

You’re seven months old. Suddenly it doesn’t seem as interesting when you turn a new month. I think 9 months or 1 year will be more celebratory. (: It’s been getting even more fun to have you around lately. You’ve started scooting around on the floor super fast. You scoot from cords to papers to under the couch to everywhere you shouldn’t be in just a few seconds. It’s like a tornado! I’m very amused by it and redirect you constantly. We also go on “walks” often. I hold you by your hands and you walk like a champ. In fact, you walked three city blocks earlier this week!

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Every morning (and after every nap) when you see the sun shining in through the window you get this huge smile on your face. You’d much rather be outside than inside for any activity. When we are inside, you love being in your high chair. You could just sit in it for so long! Looking out the window is a bit easier when you are up higher, I think. Napping in the wrap while the wind blows through your hair, playing with sticks, feeling the grass or sand, seeing the trucks and cars pass by… oh my goodness the trucks! You will stop doing ANYTHING in order to watch a truck pass by.

We still host a lot of travellers, so you are often the subject of many photographs… I think you love it. Sometimes it gets a little ridiculous. (;

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So, I’m teaching you how to be the photographer.

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But.. you just want to eat our camera right now.

Most people say we look really similar right now. What do you think?

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Either way, I think I’ll keep you.

Love,
Mom

Bedtime

Dear Nico,

I just put you to sleep for the night. Usually you play by yourself until you start getting sleepy, then sit close to you and we play together until you let me know you’re ready to go to sleep. We head back into this little room that used to be a closet. It’s lit warmly with christmas lights strung from the edges of the tapestries hanging on the ceiling. The room is small, barely fitting a twin bed and a six inch wide bedside table. I close the “door” (really a dark brown curtain you can dimly see light through), unplug most of the Christmas lights and lay down on the bed with you. I can barely see your face in the darkness before my eyes get accustom to the low lighting. You fidget around wiggling your arms and kicking your left foot (and only your left), pounding it into the mattress and anything that gets into it’s way. You make sort of a “ehuuh” sound over and over again and I imagine it translates loosely to “alert! alert!”. I pull you close to me and you happily and immediately stop everything you are doing and nurse.

Your knees curl up and your body hugs as close to me as possible. You reach up and grab my necklace and just hold on with one hand while the other one snuggles close to me. I watch you and I run my fingertips through your soft very uneven newborn hair that still stands up in weird places. My eyes race to acclimate to the darkness as I try to take in every small detail. They run from your already fuzzy eyebrows to your slightly uneven nose snuggled so close to me you can hear the muffled breathing to your belly rolls over your diaper to your toes furrowing into the little bit of loose stomach fat I still have from growing you inside of my uterus.

Slowly, your oh-so-urgent milk gathering comes to an end and your lips relax. I pull away and scoot down and we’re face to face. You are breathing in and out, consistently and deeply, and I slow mine down to match it. I could be here forever and be happy, I think. Just close to you, just because you’re my son.

I know life won’t always be like this and you remind me of that fact by pushing your feet into me again to flip to your belly, facing away from me. I slink away slowly so I don’t wake you up. One last look while standing in the six inches between the curtain and the bed, I lean down to kiss you and tell you that I love you. I realise you are asleep now and don’t hear me, but one of these days, you’re going to start pretend to be asleep when you are in the space between awake and asleep and you will start hearing me.

Tonight was one of many. I’m so glad to have you as my son! I got pretty lucky, I think. You bring me such happiness and content. I’m so glad to have my family be you and me!

Love,

Mommy.

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Happy Half Birthday!

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Dear Nicobee,

You are 6 months old today! You talk a LOT, especially in the mornings. You smile easily and often. I haven’t heard you fuss cry for days. Nah, you muuuuch prefer grunting when something “needs” to be changed.

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Sitting is the trick of the week. Sometimes you suddenly fall face down and cry out of shock. I snuggle you closely and rock you around the room and you feel just fine again in seconds. I guess kids are like that.

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I feel pretty set as a mother now. It took a good 6 months to get used to the idea of having a kid. Sometimes we just look at each other across the room then take turns laughing. I love watching you. My mother and father always used to tell me they could “see the wheels turning” when I was trying to figure something out… That has always been my most look forward to part of parenting (seeing you work things out in your head).

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People stare at you here, because I let you play in the grass. It’s the weirdest thing to me that they don’t. They put these little blankets down EVERYWHERE. Even in their own homes! I think you like feeling the different textures. I don’t know if we’re doing things right by all the baby books standards that I read while I was pregnant (ha!)… but boy, it sure feels right for us! I love that we can both do what works for us. You’re definitely entered the exploration stage! I don’t think I ever left this one growing up. (;

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I love you my dear baby boy.

Mom.

 

A Shipment of Personality Has Arrived!

Dear Nico,

Lately you’ve been having all sorts of developmental leaps. Sometimes you fight sleep and fuss for hours. It is so hard! Especially since there’s no breaks when it’s happening (the few times it does…you are a really easy kid, I’m just a complainer). I have to hold back my frustration and cuddle you until it’s better. I realise that you at 3 years old not wanting to do something I want you to do is going to be waaaay more frustrating for me, so I better keep up with these patience lessons you are easing me into. You know, before you came around, I couldn’t wait for anything? So, you’re good for me. Also, I love seeing your personality come out more and more…

Crossed feet

You cross your feet, almost all the time. In this picture, they look a bit more relaxed but in real life you always have your left foot over your right with your toes wiggling away. Your grandfather always used to do that and I did too. It must be genetic.

Your fohawk

Your hair has gotten longer and I love touching it. The natural little fohawk is to die for, by the way. I can’t stand how cute you look with that big kid hair style. You have a- surprise- bald spot on the back of your head from wiggling around so much in your sleep though. Loads of babies have it, but to be honest, I can’t wait until the hair grows back in… (:

Wonder

You supply a constant intake of information. You are such an independent thinker already. I can see your logic forming when you watch something make noise then try to make it make noise yourself. You enjoy playing by yourself so much that you often play longer if I leave you to your imagination.

Funny faces

I’m pretty sure you think I’m ridiculous sometimes.

Putting everything in your mouth

You put everything in your mouth. Look, grab, taste. Natural progression, I guess. And our floors… well, let’s just say you are getting a pretty amazing immune system early! It’s cute though. It’s so obvious when you like the taste or otherwise.

Airplane

You hold yourself in an “airplane” (arms and legs up and stiff) when you want to be picked up. You don’t fuss, you just sit there and wait for me to pick you up. You start grunting if I don’t come after a while.

Independant thinking

You are so chill. You are so satisfied in most any situation. And look at this picture! You look like you are 3!

Laugh

You laugh at the weirdest things and it makes me laugh so much too. Somedays you are so super stoic while others you can’t stop grinning.

I adore every day with you!

Love,

Mommy.